RANDOM POST : THE CONSPIRATOR IN SPACE

1/19/2013 02:02:00 PM


Dear Diary,


I want to tell you that, at the very beginning, this blog was intended to write anything I want, especially about the 2011's "Film Tax Regulation" nightmare-daymare. Yeah like a crazy little thing called diary (that's why this blog was named A Cinephile's Diary). But I don't know how, I don't know when this blog turned into a movie review-specific blog that was obviously betraying its own name. So, for this year and so on, I want to write diary entries on this blog--in broken english, of course (and I hope this kind of post could improve my english), because it's way too cheesy and 4l4y to write it down in Bahasa, don't you think? 
This post is rated R


Okay... so, I think many of you have known the films that is going to be shown at tonight's midnight show. Yes, in a truly unimaginable way, 21 group decided to pick Apollo 18 (2011) and The Conspirator (2010) as tonight's entertainment.

What the fuck. I mean, really? They are two and three years old movie that I've watched two years ago! Well, after checking some tweets on twitter (the best source for gossips, mind you), my cinephile friends told me that it was a last minute decision from 21 group as their response to the atrocious flood that is still invading Jakarta until this very second. 

I don't fuck'n understand. It's just illogical, you know, if there's a flood like that, people can not and will not step away from their home to celebrate such a weekly public holiday in cinema; even if they are showing Iron Man 3 in advance. I'm pretty sure the cinema won't be crowded, at all. 

So, in the name of Steven Spielberg, why the hell on earth they still throw a midnight show for tonight even they know there won't be any audience? For formality, maybe? Well, we don’t know exactly what this is all about, because 21 would never make such announcement on twitter or their facebook fanpage.

But the thing is, not everyone live in Jakarta. So, for those who live outside Jakarta and have something in mind to spend your midnight at cinema, I want to help you with a brief review about those two old movies; if you really bother to check them out tonight.
Here we go.


APOLLO 18

I think many of that genius people--who could give a god damn review by just looking at the poster--have already decided to watch Apollo 18 with their friends. And let me tell you, you'll regret with your fuck'n decision. No, I'm not forbidding you, I'm not your father. I'm not your mama. But I'm trying to safe you from wasting that hard earned bluish sheet of paper.

Ok, let's admit it. A Paranormal-Activity-esque Space Adventure is a very promising premise. But from the business point-of-view, they thought that the audiences fuck'n love everything that was shot like Paranormal Activity and Cloverfield; no matter how bad it is, shaky cam and cheap mockumentary are awesome. And that means tons of easy money. So, they hired someone to make this film as cheap as possible and then chose a group of marketing people who really good with their job. 

Predictably, they ruined it. The film is about nothing more than some astronauts loafing around at the moon for 80 minutes because they can’t go home. And you will know how Apollo 18 ends if you have seen many other paranormal-activity-esque films. 

If you still insist to watch Apollo 18, claiming that this film would be awesome because the poster is awesome and I was talking bullshit up there, please buy the pirated DVD or watch the trailer because it is much scarier than the film itself. Do not spend a lot of money on this.

Rating : 1 out of 5 Stars.


THE CONSPIRATOR

The Conspirator is a very good three years old movie, in my not so humble opinion. I gave it 3.5 or maybe 4 out of 5 stars, as far as I can remember. Unfortunately, this film is a dialogue driven courtroom drama thriller which is definitely not everybody’s cup of tea. For cinephiles--like me B-), The Conspirator is a powerfully acted courtroom thriller from an Oscar-winning director (Robert Redford) with a very interesting inspired-by-true-events premise to digest : somebody is looking for someone who is responsible for the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. But for normal people, The Conspirator is a fuck’n boring-give-me-back-my-money piece of shit.

So, what are you going to watch tonight? Well, if I may, I suggest you to watch the limited run France films on today and tomorrow’s “Festival Sinema Prancis”, especially the golden globe award nominee Intouchables (This post isn’t an ad). 



Okay, that’s all for today. 



You Might Also Like

3 comments

  1. First of all, I think writing in Bahasa Indonesia is not cheesy or 4l4y at all if you can write it properly and with brain. It will be much more 4l4y if the English was very broken (fortunately your English is very good).

    And yess.... I agree with you on 21/XXI group irrational reason about the midnight show.
    That's one of the worst about centralization system on theatrical business.
    It won't be happened if another chains (or individual theaters) in another area have the same right to pick the movies they're about to show. Also, if the film distributors aren't affiliated with the chain.
    Look at another chain which still has their latest film (distributed by their own distributor) to show on midnight show.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Okay. I'll try to write in Bahasa for the next diary entry.
    Gee, thanks. Your english is outstanding, too. ;)

    Btw, I'm just wondering what would have they picked for the midnight show if there hadn't been any flood in Jakarta.. Maybe The Last Stand? Killing Them Softly? Sinister? The Bay? Universal Soldier?

    ReplyDelete
  3. writing in english or bahasa has it's own advantages. they can both be very effective if it's done right. looking forward to your diary, btw would you be interested in exchanging links?

    ReplyDelete

Just do it.